The Most Beautiful Quotes and Sayings about Life.

So many things to see, people to do.

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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

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The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

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The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies.

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Cause I'm Irish, and everyone remembers me.

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Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.

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I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation time'.

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When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

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The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

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Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.

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You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why....this is why I like you.

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I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it.

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He was painfully shy, which, as is often the manner of the painfully shy, he overcompensated for by being too loud at the wrong times.

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Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice.

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I have nothing to declare except my genius.

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I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.

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The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

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I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

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I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson

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You have a very open relationship with your fans. Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.

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To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

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Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

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Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches

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Brianna dropped the skateboard in front of Sam. Don’t worry: I won’t let you fall off.Yeah? Then why did you bring the helmet?Brianna tossed it to him. In case you fall off.

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In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.

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Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.

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There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

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What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?

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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

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I still don't belong to anyone - I am mine.

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It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right.

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Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.

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If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

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The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar.

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