Rick Riordan

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

And when demigods use cell phones, the signals agitate every monster within a hundred miles. It's like sending up a flare: Here I am! Please rearrange my face!

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.

Sometimes small things can become very large, indeed.

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

No,’ Nico said. ‘Getting a second life is one thing. Making it a better life, that’s the trick.’ As soon as he said it, Nico realized he could’ve been talking about himself. He decided not to bring that up.

When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.Mussolini? Leo frowned. Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.

Love is on every side, and no one's side. Don't ask what Love can do for you.

I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited toschool for Career Day.

Frank didn’t drop you on purpose, she said. He’s not like that. He’s just a little clumsy sometimes.Oops, Leo said, in his best Frank Zhang voice. Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!

Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!

The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.

You're a stalker with hooves. I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

That's it, cupcake. You're going down.

Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?

"We're staying together," he promised. You're not getting away from me. Never again.