Enjoy a good laugh by our collection of Funny & Humor Quotes by famous authors such as J.K. Rowling, Rick Riordan, Terry Pratchett, Mark Twain,
I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.
Melissa de la Cruz
An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.
Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
Rita Mae Brown
When God made man she was practicing.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.
A great nose may be an indexOf a great soul
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!
I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time; now I had to start living for them.
Laurell K. Hamilton
I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two… succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.
Some have brains, and some haven't, ... and there it is.
He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.
The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
Pooh," said Rabbit kindly, "you haven't any brain." "I know," said Pooh humbly.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger, said Snape coolly. Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.
Kids. You gotta love them. I adore children. A little salt, a squeeze of lemon--perfect.
hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.
Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.
Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.
I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.
You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.
A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry.
Could we wear spandex and blow things up?
Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Adventures are never fun while you're having them.
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
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