Bill Watterson

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.