When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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