Cool & Famous Quotes - Funny Quotes that will make you laugh

Funny Quotes that will make you laugh

167 Quotes

Looking for a Funny Quote? Discover the most Funniest Quotes & Sayings from famous writers, humorists, entrepreneurs, publishers that will make you laugh

I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

Neil Gaiman

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.

Honoré de Balzac

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

Laurell K. Hamilton

One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention.

Laurell K. Hamilton

How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!

Cathy East Dubowski

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Cathy Guisewite

Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Laurell K. Hamilton

[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!

William Shakespeare

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!

J.K. Rowling

How art thou out of breath when thou hast breathTo say to me that thou art out of breath?

William Shakespeare

A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real.

Harry Styles

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

William Shakespeare

I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake.

Charlaine Harris

Vampires. They wrote the book on possessive.

Charlaine Harris

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