Terry Pratchett Cool & famous Quotes by

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

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• Humor

Progress just means bad things happen faster.

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• Life

She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.

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• Education

The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues.

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• Life

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

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• Life

This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.

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• Humor

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

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• Humor

...it is well known that a vital ingredient of success is not knowing that what you're attempting can't be done.

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• Success

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?

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• Humor

Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.

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• Humor

The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the last date shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality.

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• Time

Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is.

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• Wisdom

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

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• Humor

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head.

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• Humor

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

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• Humor

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

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• Education

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they've found it.

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• Humor

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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• Humor

The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.

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• Humor

Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

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• Humor

This book was written using 100% recycled words.

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• Humor

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

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• Truth

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

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• Humor

Books must be treated with respect, we feel that in our bones, because words have power. Bring enough words together they can bend space and time.

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• Books

He'd been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower.

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• Humor

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?

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• Humor

Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.

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• Humor

I commend my soul to any god that can find it.

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• Humor

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

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• Humor

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

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• Humor