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We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

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• Humor

The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

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• Humor

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.

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• Humor

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

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• Humor

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

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• Humor

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

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• Humor

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

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• Humor

I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

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• Happiness

Just believe everything I tell you, and it will all be very, very simple. Ah, well, I'm not sure I believe that.

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• Funny

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

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• Humor

The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!

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• Funny

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

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• Humor

Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food.

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• Books

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

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This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

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• Life

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

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• Humor

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

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• Truth

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

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• Humor

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

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• Humor

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

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• Humor

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

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• Humor

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

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• Humor

All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.

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• Life

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

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• Life

The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

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• Humor

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

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If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

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• Humor

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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• Humor

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.

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• Life

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

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• Humor