150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

It is perfectly monstrous,' he said, at last, 'the way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one's back that are absolutely and entirely true.

Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.

Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.

There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.

I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

I have nothing to declare except my genius.

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

Peter, you're twelve years old. I'm ten. They have a word for people our age. They call us children and they treat us like mice.

You're a monster.Thanks. Does this mean I get a raise?No, just a medal. The budget isn't inexhaustable.

I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

if something is there, you can only see it with your eyes open, but if it isn't there, you can see it just as well with your eyes closed. That's why imaginary things are often easier to see than real ones.

Writer’s block is only a failure of the ego.

When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side.