150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

You're a stalker with hooves. I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.

That's it, cupcake. You're going down.

Leo had seen Tia Callida in action; she liked knives, snakes and putting babies in roaring fires. Yeah, definitely let's unleash her rage. Great idea.

We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting.

She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.

Hmm… Jason snapped his fingers. I can call a friend for a ride.Percy raised his eyebrows. Oh, yeah? Me too. Let's see whose friend gets here first.

[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.

Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy.

Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.

Down in the water, Octavian yelled, Get me out of here! I’ll kill you!Tempting, Percy called down.

Leo: I'm almost out of gas! Woah, that came out wrong. I meant the burning kind!

Hazel! he yelled. That box! Open it!She hesitated, then saw the box he meant. Te label read WARNING. DO NOT OPEN. Open it! Leo yelled again.

If possible, try to avoid pushing each other over the edge, as that would cause me extra paperwork.

Fortunately, we did most of our athletic stuff inside, so we didn't have to jog through Tribeca looking like a bunch of boot-camp hippie children.

Leo, Hazel gasped, I can’t—my arms—Hazel, he said. Do you trust me?No!Me neither, Leo admitted.

Percy was getting tired of water.If he said that aloud, he would probably get kicked out of Poseidon’s Junior Sea Scouts, but he didn’t care.

Wow. When he started looking back on the war with Kronos as the good old days--that was sad.

It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.

The meeting was like a war council with donuts. Then again, back at Camp Half-Blood they used to have their most serious discussions around the Ping-Pong table in the rec room with crackers and Cheez Whiz, so Percy felt right at home.

Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?""Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.

Dreams like a podcast,Downloading truth in my ears.They tell me cool stuff."Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred." A god named Fred?

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.