Bill Watterson Welcome to our collection of popular quotes by

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

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• Humor

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

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• Humor

HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

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• Life

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

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• Humor

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

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• Humor

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

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• Happiness

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

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• Humor

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

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• Humor

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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• Humor

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

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• Life

The world isn't fair, Calvin. I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

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• Humor

Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat.

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• Humor

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

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• Life

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

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• Humor

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

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• Humor