Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

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• Humor

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

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• Humor

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

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• Humor

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

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• Funny

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

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• Funny

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

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• Humor

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

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• Humor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

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• Humor

Could we wear spandex and blow things up?

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• Humor

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

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• Love

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

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• Humor

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

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• Humor

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

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• Humor

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

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• Humor