Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

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I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.

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• Humor

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

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• Humor

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

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• Humor

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

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• Humor

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

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• Humor

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

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• Humor

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

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• Humor

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

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• Humor

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

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• Humor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

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• Humor

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

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• Humor

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

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