Quotes on “humor”

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly.

Could we wear spandex and blow things up?

I hated sports. I hated sports, and I hated people who played them, and I hated people who watched them, and I hated people who didn't hate people who watched or played them.

The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.