Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

Could we wear spandex and blow things up?

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• Humor

Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly.

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• Humor

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

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• Humor

hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.

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• Humor

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

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• Humor

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

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• Humor

When God made man she was practicing.

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• Humor

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.

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• Humor

Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury.

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• Humor

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

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• Humor

You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.IT'S EDUCATIONAL.'What if she cuts herself?'THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

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• Humor

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

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• Life

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

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• Humor

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

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• Inspirational

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think.

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• Humor

I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you.

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• Humor

There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)

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• Humor

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

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• Humor

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

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• Life

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

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• Humor

"Poirot," I said. I have been thinking.An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.

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• Humor

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.

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• Humor

She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who’s only holding Cinderella back. That’s my girl.

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• Humor

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

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• Humor

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

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• Humor

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

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• Humor

Total non-retention has kept my education from being a burden to me.

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• Humor

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

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• Humor

Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots

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• Humor

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

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• Humor