Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

God helps those who strut their stuff.

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• Motivational

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

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• Humor

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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• Humor

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

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• Humor

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

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• Humor

I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner

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• Humor

I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

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• Humor

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

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• Humor

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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• Humor

Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.

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• Humor

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

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• Funny

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

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• Humor

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

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• Humor

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.

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• Humor

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

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• Humor

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

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• Humor

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

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• Humor

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

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• Humor

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

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• Humor

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

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• Humor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

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• Humor

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

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• Funny

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

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• Love

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

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• Humor

The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.

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• Humor

I hated sports. I hated sports, and I hated people who played them, and I hated people who watched them, and I hated people who didn't hate people who watched or played them.

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• Humor