Quotes and sayings about tag  #humor

Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

1,286 Quotes

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

Albert Einstein

God helps those who strut their stuff.

Dan Sofer

I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

Melissa de la Cruz

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Francis Bacon

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

George Carlin

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

Graham Parke

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

Rita Davenport

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.

Rita Mae Brown

When God made man she was practicing.

Rita Mae Brown

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown

 inspirational quotes - Image for quote : If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

W.C. Fields

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

A.A. Milne

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

A.A. Milne

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think.

A.A. Milne

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

Abraham Lincoln

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Aesop

"Poirot," I said. I have been thinking.An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.

Agatha Christie

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

Alan Bradley

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Albert Einstein

Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots

Albert Einstein

Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.

Alex Gaskarth

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

Alexandra Potter

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Alfred Hitchcock

I think it's kinda nice.' And I did. my mom isn't famous for her pies. No, she's famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at the moment, pies seemed cooler.

Ally Carter

You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.

Ally Carter

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.

Ally Carter

Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Ambrose Bierce

Page 1 from 43