Cool & Famous Quotes - Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

1,286 Quotes

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

Albert Einstein

God helps those who strut their stuff.

Dan Sofer

I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

Melissa de la Cruz

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

W.C. Fields

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake.

A.A. Milne

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

A.A. Milne

No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake, and they don't Think.

A.A. Milne

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln

The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.

Abraham Lincoln

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Aesop

"Poirot," I said. I have been thinking.An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.

Agatha Christie

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Albert Einstein

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

Alan Bradley

Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots

Albert Einstein

Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.

Alex Gaskarth

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

Alexandra Potter

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Alfred Hitchcock

I think it's kinda nice.' And I did. my mom isn't famous for her pies. No, she's famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at the moment, pies seemed cooler.

Ally Carter

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Ambrose Bierce

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.

Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Ambrose Bierce

You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.

Ally Carter

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.

Ally Carter

Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Ambrose Bierce

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Ambrose Bierce

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

Andy Warhol

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

Andy Weir

Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?— Riley Poole

Ann Lloyd

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