Quotes on “humor”

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

God helps those who strut their stuff.

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.IT'S EDUCATIONAL.'What if she cuts herself?'THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.

When God made man she was practicing.