Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

God helps those who strut their stuff.

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• Motivational

An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.

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• Humor

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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• Humor

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

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• Humor

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

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• Humor

I'm a big believer in putting things off, In fact, I even put off procrastinating.-Ella Varner

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• Humor

I don't need anything to get high. I'm high on life.

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• Humor

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

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• Humor

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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• Humor

Life's greatest tragedy is not that it will someday end, but that most only live to follow directions and sometimes we end up totally lost.

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• Humor

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

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• Funny

Money isn't everything...but it ranks right up there with oxygen.

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• Humor

Everything not forbidden is compulsory

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• Humor

Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.

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• Humor

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

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• Humor

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

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• Humor

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

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• Funny

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

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• Love

He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

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• Humor

The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.

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• Humor

I hated sports. I hated sports, and I hated people who played them, and I hated people who watched them, and I hated people who didn't hate people who watched or played them.

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• Humor

Could we wear spandex and blow things up?

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• Humor

Name the different kinds of people,’ said Miss Lupescu. ‘Now.’Bod thought for a moment. ‘The living,’ he said. ‘Er. The dead.’ He stopped. Then, ‘... Cats?’ he offered, uncertainly.

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• Humor

I felt like one of Apollo's sacred cows- slow, dumb, and bright red.

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• Humor

hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.

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• Humor

You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.

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• Humor