Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

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• Humor

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

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• Humor

The world isn't fair, Calvin. I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

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• Humor

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

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• Humor

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

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• Humor

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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• Humor

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

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• Humor

When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.

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• Humor

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.

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• Humor

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

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• Humor

What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?

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• Humor

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

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• Inspirational

Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads.

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• Humor

Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.

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• Life

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

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• Humor

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

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• Humor

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

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• Life

There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.

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• Humor

You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn't a bad mood at all; it's just your sucky personality.

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• Humor

When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.

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• Humor

You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity.

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• Love

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.

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• Success

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.

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• Humor

See, that’s the difference, Mauvin said. I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.

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• Humor

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar.

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• Humor

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.

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• Humor

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman.

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• Humor

You are going to love the sports here. Snow skiing and water-skiing and rock climbing and all kinds of extreme sports. I give you full permission to hurl yourself off stuff.

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• Humor

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

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• Humor

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

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• Humor