Quotes on “humor”

To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

My brain? That's my second favorite organ.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

This paper, by its very length, defends itself from ever being read.

Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

When you get a thing the way you want it, leave it alone.

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.

Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.

Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.

Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.