150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

Harry, we saw Uranus up close! said Ron, still giggling feebly. Get it, Harry? We saw Uranus — ha ha ha —

Would you like a cough drop Dolores?

You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.Yeah, said Harry, but you, unlike me, are a git.

By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many.

That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger, said Snape coolly. Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all.

How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?

Everybody finished the song at different times. At last, only the Weasley twins were left singing along to a very slow funeral march.

We did it, we bashed them wee Potter's the one, and Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!

Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –""Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.""Great idea though, thanks, Mum.

I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are.

I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing... maybe you've got to attack him while he's in the shower, Harry.

Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again."So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking...

Why are you worrying about YOU-KNOW-WHO, when you should be worrying about YOU-NO-POO? The constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!

He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy...

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...Yes, they do that, said Dumbledore.

"Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?

You can laugh! But people used to believe there were no such things as the Blibbering Humdinger or the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!

Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!

"I don't mean to be rude—" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable."Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.

Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

You haven't got a letter on yours, George observed. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.

The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...

My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities...like the ability to behave myself.