150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.

Do you answer a question directly? Hard to say. Ah, there, I've done it again

Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.

If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn.

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.

Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.

I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time; now I had to start living for them.

His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing.

I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good?

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

It's not like there's a law against flying.Yes there is. The law of gravity.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

And before you barrel through some idiotic Cosmo girl list of how-well-do-you-know-your-man questions, let me say that I don't know squat about him except that he kisses like a god and screws like a devil.

Katsa and Po were trying to drown each other and, judging from their hoots of laughter, enjoying it immensely.

You're the queen, and it's the queen's house, and whatever Brigan may accomplish, he's highly unlikely ever to be queen.