Quotes and sayings about tag  humour

57 Quotes

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Dave Barry

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Dave Barry

We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. But we also know it's not an easy concept. -He's not just into you

Greg Behrendt

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Rodney Dangerfield

You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!'IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.'She's a child!' shouted Crumley.IT'S EDUCATIONAL.'What if she cuts herself?'THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Terry Pratchett

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

Darynda Jones

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

Darynda Jones

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

Douglas Adams

If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

Darynda Jones

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

Eoin Colfer

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

Darynda Jones

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.

Jasper Fforde

My shining dishonesty will be the salvation of me.

Diana Wynne Jones

In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.

Roman Payne

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