150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

I still don't belong to anyone - I am mine.

You're not right in the head, and nor am I, and this is why....this is why I like you.

I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now.

I am human and I need to be loved,just like everybody else does.

Rejection is one thing - but rejection from a fool is cruel.

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.No hope, no harm; just another false alarm

I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation time'.

It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I'm right.

Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers.

Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.

If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.

You could start a fire with the heat between you two. You're mistaking bitter animosity for heartfelt affection.

Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.

The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar.

See, that’s the difference, Mauvin said. I suffer a loss and people console me. Royce suffers a loss and whole towns evacuate.

Brianna dropped the skateboard in front of Sam. Don’t worry: I won’t let you fall off.Yeah? Then why did you bring the helmet?Brianna tossed it to him. In case you fall off.

I had a polynomial once. My doctor removed it.

If I'm walking on thin ice, I might as well dance my way across.

Are you an idiot, or an idiot?' Gargarin hissed.'The first one. I really resent being called the second.