Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

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• Humor

Oh, look at that, he's heard of me. My fame grows.

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It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

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Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?

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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

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Pranks vs school= pranks win all day

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I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

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See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested.

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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

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You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

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He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

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Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

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Please welcome Professor Varen Nethers, famous depressed dead poets historian and author of the bestselling books Unlocking your Poe-tential: A Writer's Guide, and Mo Poe Fo Yo: When You Just Can't Get Enough.

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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

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• Humor