Quotes and sayings about tag  #funny

Quotes and sayings about tag  funny

223 Quotes

My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel.

Michelle Hodkin

He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet.

Michelle Obama

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

I simply regard romantic comedies as a subgenre of sci-fi, in which the world created therein has different rules than my regular human world.

Mindy Kaling

Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.

Moira Young

Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody's life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more an I'm all yers.

Moira Young

I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a law, rather than one of a number of suggested options.

Neil Gaiman

Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.

Orson Scott Card

And she says, Then let’s just take the effing road and get ourselves to Haven.I smile, a little. You said effing, I say. You actually said the word effing.

Patrick Ness

It's not called being gay, it's called being fabulous!

PewDiePie

Pressure is something you feel when you don't know what the hell you're doing.

Peyton Manning

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Phyllis Diller

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.

Pseudonymous Bosch

Me neither, Shane put in. Homie don’t play that.I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all, Amelie said.

Rachel Caine

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed.

Rachel Caine

Um...Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed--

Rachel Hawkins

It just seems like overkill when you already have a dagger and I have superpowerful magic at my disposal.‘Superpowerful?’He stood up, a gold chain dangling from his fingers. Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog.

Rachel Hawkins

Apparently the complete works of Shakespeare packed quite a wallop. To think, my mother said I'd never find use for an English degree. Ha! I'd like to see her knock someone silly with an apron and a cookie press.

Rachel Vincent

Screw this. He’d blown his shot at nice-and-easy, which only left quick-and-brutal—my favorite way to play.

Rachel Vincent

She moved to pinch me again but I blocked her hand. I'm no expert on girls, but when one tries to pinch you four times, I'm pretty sure that's flirting.

Ransom Riggs

What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri.

Richelle Mead

Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?

Richelle Mead

Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place.

Richelle Mead

I certainly hadn't expected to walk away from today's trip with joint custody of a miniature dragon.

Richelle Mead

This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen.

Richelle Mead

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.

Rick Riordan

What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.

Rick Riordan

That’s us, he said. Those five nuts right there.Which one is me? I asked.The little deformed one, Zoe suggested.Oh, shut up.

Rick Riordan

She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

Rick Riordan

Mussolini? Leo frowned. Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Rick Riordan

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