Quotes and sayings about tag  funny

She says you're not awake until you're actually out of bed and standing up.

• 2 Like
• Funny

Too bad. Family members hit you by accident. Psychopathic whores tend to come back for more.

• 2 Like
• Funny

And when demigods use cell phones, the signals agitate every monster within a hundred miles. It's like sending up a flare: Here I am! Please rearrange my face!

• 2 Like
• Funny

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

• 2 Like
• Funny

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.

• 2 Like
• Funny

If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged

• 2 Like
• Funny

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

• 2 Like
• Funny

Puns are the highest form of literature.

• 1 Like
• Humor

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.

• 1 Like
• Funny

She moved like water, graceful and soft and lovely. Every part of me wanted to stick out my foot and trip her, just to see her stumble.

• 1 Like
• Funny

How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!

• 1 Like
• Funny

Dude. Hot Bozo. Best nickname ever.

• 1 Like
• Funny

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

• 1 Like
• Humor

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.

• 1 Like
• Humor

You are going to love the sports here. Snow skiing and water-skiing and rock climbing and all kinds of extreme sports. I give you full permission to hurl yourself off stuff.

• 1 Like
• Humor