If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.
David Cook
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.?
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek Landy
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
Darynda Jones
It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, yourbeard’s stupid.Isn’t this fun? Skulduggery said brightly. The three of usgetting along so well.
You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt
Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career.
E.A. Bucchianeri
If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.
Ellen DeGeneres
My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.
David Sedaris
Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.
I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.
Demetri Martin
I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Eoin Colfer
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