Quotes and sayings about tag  #funny

Quotes and sayings about tag  funny

223 Quotes

The shortest horror story:The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

Frederic Brown

To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.

Gena Showalter

I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist

Gena Showalter

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.

Gena Showalter

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

George Bernard Shaw

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

George Carlin

How is it possible to have a civil war?

George Carlin

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

George Carlin

And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it.

George Eliot

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Golda Meir

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Groucho Marx

A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

Groucho Marx

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

H.L. Mencken

A real girl isn't perfect and a perfect girl isn't real.

Harry Styles

Hey, Mr. Nakata. Gramps. Fire! Flood! Earthquake! Revolution! Godzilla's on the loose! Get up!

Haruki Murakami

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.

Hedy Lamarr

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

Henny Youngman

Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!

Hergé

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks.

Holly Black

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.

Honoré de Balzac

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.

Ilona Andrews

Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!

Ilona Andrews

You will not pass! Roman thundered.Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf.

Ilona Andrews

My friend "M" says the irony of being a zombie is that everything is funny, but you can't smile, because your lips have rotted off.

Isaac Marion

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?

J.K. Rowling

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.

J.K. Rowling

Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

J.K. Rowling

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