Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

It's the idea that people living close to nature tend to be noble. It's seeing all those sunsets that does it. You can't watch a sunset and then go off and set fire to your neighbor's tepee. Living close to nature is wonderful for your mental health.

• 1 Like
• Humor

When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman.

• 1 Like
• Humor

Damien has died and gone straight to gay boy heaven,' Shaunee said...

• 1 Like
• Humor

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.?

• 1 Like
• Love

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

• 1 Like
• Humor

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

• 1 Like
• Humor

Your as slow as a fat kid on crutches

• 1 Like
• Humor

But we're going to smile and pretend we're fine with the dorky birthmas gifts because people do not get that they can't mush a birthday into christmas.

• 1 Like
• Humor

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

• 1 Like
• Humor

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

• 1 Like
• Humor

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

• 1 Like
• Humor

After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.You do have that effect on people.

• 1 Like
• Life

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

• 1 Like
• Humor

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

• 1 Like
• Love

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

• 1 Like
• Humor