Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

1,286 Quotes

Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.

George Bernard Shaw

A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.

Daniel Handler

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

George Bernard Shaw

It's the idea that people living close to nature tend to be noble. It's seeing all those sunsets that does it. You can't watch a sunset and then go off and set fire to your neighbor's tepee. Living close to nature is wonderful for your mental health.

Daniel Quinn

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

George Bernard Shaw

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.?

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Darynda Jones

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

George Carlin

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

Darynda Jones

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

George Carlin

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

Darynda Jones

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

George Carlin

After a long, labored sigh, I said, She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.You do have that effect on people.

Darynda Jones

I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

Darynda Jones

Page 9 from 86