Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

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• Humor

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

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• Humor

The world isn't fair, Calvin. I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

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• Humor

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

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• Humor

If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.

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• Humor

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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• Humor

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

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• Humor

When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.

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• Humor

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.

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• Humor

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

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• Humor

What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?

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• Humor

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

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• Inspirational

Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads.

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• Humor

Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.

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• Life

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

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• Humor