Quotes on “humor”

BE QUIET!!...What do you want...? I was in the middle of saying something nice...

I never understood how men could remember all those details about sports but, yet, were incapable of remembering where they set their car keys or wallet.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

Some people say, Never let them see you cry. I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society…unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

Everything in this room is edible. Even I'm edible. But, that would be called canibalism. It is looked down upon in most societies.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.

In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans.

Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.

Yes! I'm me! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I think! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am!

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

Studies have shown that an ant can carry one hundred times its own weight, but there is no known limit to the lifting power of the average tiny eighty-year-old Spanish peasant grandmother.

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

I commend my soul to any god that can find it.