Quotes on “humor”

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.

You don't have to make something that people call art. Living is an artistic activity, there is an art to getting through the day.

I’ve been thinking. A dangerous pursuit. Indeed.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

Leaving us with Eric is like hiring a babysitter who spends his time sharpening knives.

I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just start spontaneously bleeding from the nose.

Rules and school are tools for fools! I don't give two mules for rules.

Life sucks, then you die. Then it sucks again.

I really should come with a warning label.

We're actors — we're the opposite of people!

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better.

...disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business....

People have hope because they cannot see Death standing behind them.