Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

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• Inspirational

You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt

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• Humor

I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.

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• Humor

This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.

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• Life

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes its time, and gets to know everyone personally. —T-SHIRT

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• Humor

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

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• Humor

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

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• Humor

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

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• Humor

I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.

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• Humor

I'm looking into my past lives. I'm convinced some of them still owe me money.

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• Humor

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.

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• Humor

We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.

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• Humor

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

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• Humor

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

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• Humor

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

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• Humor