Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

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• Humor

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

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• Humor

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

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• Humor

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

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• Humor

Housework can kill you if done right.

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• Humor

The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there.

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• Humor

No one in the world gets what they want and that is beautiful.

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• Humor

God knows I had not wanted to fall in love with her. I had not wanted to fall in love with any one. But God knows I had and I lay on the bed in the room of the hospital in Milan and all sorts of things went through my head but I felt wonderful...

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• Humor

"This is a good place," he said. "There's a lot of liquor," I agreed.

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• Humor

Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician.

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• Humor

Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.

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• Humor

I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

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• Humor

I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! …they come in thirteens.

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• Humor

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

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• Humor

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

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• Humor

Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.

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• Humor

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

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• Humor

Definition of rock journalism: People who can't write, doing interviews with people who can't think, in order to prepare articles for people who can't read.

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• Humor

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.

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• Humor

A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

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• Humor

It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!

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• Humor

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

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• Humor

Fiction was invented the day Jonah arrived home and told his wife that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a whale..

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• Humor

I never gossip. I observe. And then relay my observations to practically everyone.

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• Humor

How ghastly for her, people actually thinking, with their brains, and right next door. Oh, the travesty of it all.

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• Humor

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

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• Humor

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

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• Humor

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

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• Humor

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

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• Humor

I tried to contain myself... but I escaped!

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• Life