Quotes and sayings about tag  funny

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!

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• Funny

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

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• Funny

I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.

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• Funny

She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.

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• Funny

The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.

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• Writing

You gotta be careful: don't say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

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• Funny

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

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• Funny

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

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• Funny

If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

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• Funny

She'd met Colin on a Monday.She'd kissed him on a Friday.Twelve years later.She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic.

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• Humor

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch

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• Inspirational

I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.

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• Funny

Maxon: To be clear, no one agrees with you.America: To be clear, I don’t care.

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• Funny

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless

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• Funny

What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?

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• Funny