Quotes on “funny”

Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me.

It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.

I guess I can't blame him for feeling bitter. Going from being the terror of Bulgarian nights to a janitor would kinda suck

What do you think? Does this face make me look fat?

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless

Maxon: To be clear, no one agrees with you.America: To be clear, I don’t care.

I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch

She'd met Colin on a Monday.She'd kissed him on a Friday.Twelve years later.She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic.

If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American -- our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

You gotta be careful: don't say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.

She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.

I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!