We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
Rick Riordan
Leo, Hazel gasped, I can’t—my arms—Hazel, he said. Do you trust me?No!Me neither, Leo admitted.
Tantalus made a wild grab, but the marshmallow committed suicide, diving into the flames.
Yeah, well. I don’t try to be awesome. It just comes natural.
The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.
Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!
When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.Mussolini? Leo frowned. Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?
Don't gobblefunk around with words.
Roald Dahl
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Robert Benchley
The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.
Robert Conquest
Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Robert Louis Stevenson
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Rodney Dangerfield
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.
Sam Levenson
My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.
Samuel Johnson
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