Quotes on “funny”

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you.

I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist

To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome.

The shortest horror story:The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.

It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.

The old woman was the kind who would not cut down a large old tree because it was a large old tree.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.