Quotes and sayings about tag  funny

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright.

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• Funny

One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention.

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• Funny

Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork.

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• Funny

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

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• Funny

I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.

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• Life

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

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• Humor

I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner.

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• Funny

Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap rays. I can't help myself. The fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than I am. I have no choice but to snuggle under the covers.

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• Funny

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

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• Funny

the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.

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• Funny

Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.

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• Humor

Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!

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• Humor

Dogs have their day but cats have 365.

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• Funny

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

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• Inspirational

When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!

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• Funny