Quotes on “humor”

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about.

The biggest challenge after success is shutting up about it.

You are evidence of your mother's strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity.

When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.

Anything that doesn't take years of your life and drive you to suicide hardly seems worth doing.

Ah, pay no heed if your enemies laugh. They'll not be able to once you lop off their heads.

My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting. He had never molested me, but I wanted to have a party that weekend and needed him out of the house.

I don't really like coffee, she said, but I don't really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either.

When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

The world isn't fair, Calvin. I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.

You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow? I don't have five you can borrow. My piggy bank is officialy anorexic.