Quotes on “humor”

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur?Ignore the fluffy, she muttered. Remember the part about big and scary.

Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?— Riley Poole

If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy.

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it.

You don't need a search warrant to go through someone's trash. Seriously. Once it hits the curb it is totally fair game-you an look it up.

I think it's kinda nice.' And I did. my mom isn't famous for her pies. No, she's famous for defusing a nuclear device in Brussels with only a pair of cuticle scissors and a ponytail holder. Somehow, at the moment, pies seemed cooler.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.

Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.