Quotes on “humor”

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what youknow ain't so'.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.