The sun rose slowly, as if it wasn't sure it was worth all the effort.
Terry Pratchett
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
George Carlin
There is always time for another last minute
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
Progress just means bad things happen faster.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
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