Quotes on “humor”

And in what fairy tale would John ever be any sane person's idea of Prince Charming anyway? He was the opposite of charming. More like Prince Terrifying.

However, because they have no actual interests of their own (or if they do, they squelch them in order to fit in) and merely pursue those that they think will look best on their college apps, they're zombies.

You know your Lamborghini is on fire, right?

Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising.

I'm not stubborn. My way is just better.

To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

When a man learns to love, he must bear the risk of hatred.

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.

She was not sorry. And if it was the wine telling her that, then she would tell the wine the same thing tomorrow. She was not sorry.

Reading good books ruins you for enjoying bad books.

I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.

Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life.

So much good, so much evil. Just add water.

Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.