Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed, I suppose.

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• Humor

God knows I had not wanted to fall in love with her. I had not wanted to fall in love with any one. But God knows I had and I lay on the bed in the room of the hospital in Milan and all sorts of things went through my head but I felt wonderful...

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• Humor

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

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• Humor

Why do people always expect authors to answer questions? I am an author because I want to ask questions. If I had answers, I'd be a politician.

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• Humor

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

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• Humor

Every one suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.

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• Humor

Cheeses crusty, got all musty, got damp on the stone of a peach, I agreed. He looked blank, so I repeated it with proper emphasis. ChEEZ-zes crusty. Got Al -musty. Got DAMp on the StoneofapeaCH.

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• Humor

I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.

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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

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• Humor

I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! …they come in thirteens.

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• Humor

Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own.

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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

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• Humor

I've been embarrassing myself since about birth.

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• Life

Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.

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• Humor

If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?

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• Humor