Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
Thomas Bernhard
Now listen, we need to be quiet as mice. No, quieter than that. As quiet as . . . as . . . Dead mice? Reynie suggested. Perfect, said Kate with an approving nod. As quiet as dead mice.
Trenton Lee Stewart
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Wendell Johnson
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up? All the time.
Wendy Mass
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Will Rogers
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
Inconceivable! You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
William Goldman
[Thou] mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms!
William Shakespeare
How art thou out of breath when thou hast breathTo say to me that thou art out of breath?
[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Yogi Berra
To ugly ducklings everywhere,Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:They'll never get to be swans
Zoë Marriott
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
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