Quotes on “humor”

We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent.

If anger were mileage, I'd be a very frequent flyer, right up there in First Class.

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.

I feel an almost overwhelming interest in the methods of daylight abduction employed by the modern youth.

You're only a man! You've not our gifts! I can tell you! Why, a woman can think of a hundred different things at once, all them contradictory!

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.

Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.

No! Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

Electricity is really just organized lightning

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.