Quotes on “humor”

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.

Do you answer a question directly? Hard to say. Ah, there, I've done it again

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.

If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?

Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn.

You should eat a waffle! You can't be sad if you eat a waffle!

There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day.

Death didn't bother me much. Strong Christian and all that. Method of death did. Being eaten alive. One of my top three ways not to go out.

I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time; now I had to start living for them.

His eyes widened just a bit, his lips flexed. I realized he was trying not to laugh. I hate it when people find my threats amusing.

I'd never met coffee that wasn't wonderful. It was just a matter of how wonderful it was.

Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good?

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

It's not like there's a law against flying.Yes there is. The law of gravity.