Quotes on “humor”

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Nozy Cat lifted one sleepy eyelid, and his marble blue eye glared at her for interrupting his sacred nap. He wore a yellow collar with little red stars printed on it. His second eyelid also opened, and he gave them his irritated blue-eyed glare.

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win.

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married.

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

I should never be left alone with my mind for too long.

Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing--turn your toes out when you walk---And remember who you are!

Take care of the sense and the sounds will take care of themselves.

Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible!

have i gone mad?im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.

It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!