Quotes on “humor”

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.

What doesn't kill us makes us funnier.

When I'm out of politics I'm going to run a business, it'll be called rent-a-spine

I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.

Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

How could I be sleeping with this particular man.... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste.

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.

I always listen to you. Except when I don't.

Ronan said, "I'm always straight."Adam replied "Oh, man, that's the biggest lie you've ever told."

Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something.

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.