Quotes on “humor”

"You look too pretty to be useful." Truer words were never spoken.

Sydney spent a lot of time on my bed these days.Unfortunately, it wasn't with me.

You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.

It was a lame excuse, and I knew that wasn't the reason he was canceling. If he wanted to avoid me, I would have preferred he made up something about how he and the other guardians had to up Moroi security or practice top-secret ninja moves.

Piece of Heaven? No, that other place I'm going to go to for thinking what I'm thinking.

It was impossible to get the Dimitri and Tasha thing out of my head, but at least packing and getting ready made sure I didn't devote 100 percent of my brain power to him. More like 95 percent.

A gun. I had been brought down by a gun. It was practically comical. Cheaters, I thought.

Adrian was easily distractible by wacky topics and shiny objects.

Relax, having kids is years away. But can you imagine? Your brains, my charm, our collective good looks... then add in the usual physical abilities dhampirs get. It's really not even fair to everyone else.

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.

Chocolate is God's apology for brocolli

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

All the time you're saying to yourself, 'I could do that, but I won't,' — which is just another way of saying that you can't.

Philosophy of science is about as useful to scientists as ornithology is to birds.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

What's in a name, anyway? That which we call a nose by any other name would still smell.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.