Quotes and sayings about tag  humor

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

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• Humor

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

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• Humor

I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.

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• Humor

Nothing's a better cure for writer's block than to eat ice cream right out of the carton.

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• Inspirational

RésuméRazors pain you,Rivers are damp,Acids stain you,And drugs cause cramp.Guns aren't lawful,Nooses give,Gas smells awful.You might as well live.

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• Humor

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

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• Humor

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

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• Humor

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

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• Humor

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

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• Humor

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

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• Humor

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

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• Humor

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.

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• Humor

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

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• Humor

I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.

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• Humor

Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you--And if that makes you happy, kid,You'll be the first it ever did.

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• Humor