Quotes on “humor”

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

You're an investigator - can't nobody find stuff out like a woman. Y'all put the police to shame, make the little investigative tricks they show on CSI and Law & Order: SVU look like counting lessons on Sesame Street.

You nicked-named my daughter after the Lock Ness Monster!

Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want for nothing. He makes me lie down in the green pastures. He greases up my head with oil. He gives me kung-fu in the face of my enemies. Amen

Murder is like potato chips: you can't stop with just one.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

[In the Universe it may be that] Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth.

The downside of my celebrity is that I cannot go anywhere in the world without being recognized. It is not enough for me to wear dark sunglasses and a wig. The wheelchair gives me away.

I think computer viruses should count as life ... I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.