150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

It was amazing how many books one could fit into a room, assuming one didn't want to move around very much.

Why hasn't anyone killed him yet?Dumb luck, Wit said. In that I’m lucky you’re all so dumb.

I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease.

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.It's really funny.

I swear, my dear. Sometimes our conversations remind me of a broken sword. She raised an eyebrow. Sharp as hell, Lightsong said, "but lacking a point.

People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Popsicle, despite years of effort.

When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.

Excruciating agony makes me cranky.

A crossbow? Pigeon asked.I left my battle-ax in my other jeans, the man said.

You can't make footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to make buttprints in the sands of time?

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.

I made this [letter] very long, because I did not have the leisure to make it shorter.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

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