150+ Hilarious Quotes That'll Make You Laugh Out Loud

I have gone temporarily deaf and haven't any idea what you said, Harry.

Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.

Anyone can speak Troll. All you have to do is point and grunt.

Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.

When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?

Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend. Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?

Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats.

Great, tell me when you've defeated Voldemort for me, will you?

Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students."Don’t let it worry you," said Ron. "It’s me. I’m extremely famous.

Don't talk to me.Why not? Because I want to fix that in my memory for ever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret...

Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!

Ask us no questions and we’ll tell you no lies.

So that's little Scorpious. Make sure you beat him in every test, Rosie. Thank god you've inherited your mother's brains.

Well you seemed too busy to call him a prat and I thought someone should.

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...

So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —Don’t talk to your mother like that.

Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs.

I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.

Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.

Don't be stupid, it's a flying house!

"An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. Nah, he can’t have.... Are you sure? "Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?" Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow...I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough.

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,His hair is as dark as a blackboard.I wish he was mine, he's really divine,The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.

I knew I could do it all this time, said Harry, Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?

In a totally sane society, madness is the only freedom.