But that's how memory works, Bitterblue said quietly. Things disappear without your permission, then come back again without your permission." And sometimes they came back incomplete and warped.
There comes a point when you either embrace who and what you are, or condemn yourself to be miserable all your days. Other people will try to make you miserable; don't help them by doing the job yourself.
The way I define happiness is being the creator of your experience, choosing to take pleasure in what you have, right now, regardless of the circumstances, while being the best you that you can be.