Quotes on “humor”

I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.

Pasteboard pies and paper flowers are being banished from the stage by the growth of that power of accurate observation which is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it....

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.

A photographer is like a cod, which produces a million eggs in order that one may reach maturity.

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.