Quotes on “humor”

If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl.

We scarified a mosquito. I bet that's what did it. It was probably a virgin too.

Another werewolf thing. Like most animals, we spent a large part of our lives engaged in the three Fs of basic survival. Feeding, fighting and... reproduction.

You forget, darling.I am the local psychopath.

Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

An elite confederacy of nerds. My peeps

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!

I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.

You, Ms. Lane, are a menace to others! A walking, talking catastrophe in pink!

It's just that in the Deep South, women learn at a young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it's time to take down the drapes and make a new dress.

I care. They bother me. And that's why I'm stupid. That makes me exponentially more stupid than stupid. I'm stupid to the power of stupid.

You climbed into my window in the middle of the night. So, either you're some kind of Vampire or some kind of Perv. Which is it?

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch

You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again when your bullshit dies out over someone else's house.

See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested.

Pranks vs school= pranks win all day

If you didn't grow up like I did then you don't know, and if you don't know it's probably better you don't judge.