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It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

"No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon? "What?" Oh, you'd like something simpler?

"I meant", said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile? Death thought about it.CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn't as cynical as real life.

Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember.

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

I should have learned this, she thought. I wanted to learn fire, and pain, but I should have learned people.

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.