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Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear his shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

If you've got the truth you can demonstrate it. Talking doesn't prove it.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

Some people insist that 'mediocre' is better than 'best.' They delight in clipping wings because they themselves can't fly. They despise brains because they have none.

Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil.

To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.